


Love/Hate

by Houndsof221b



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Biting, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Dom/sub, F/M, Light Dom/sub, Rough Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 12:56:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5870482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houndsof221b/pseuds/Houndsof221b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren captured you to get valuable information out of you.<br/>Torture ensues and even though you should hate this man, there is something about him that fascinated you endlessly.<br/>And that feeling became even stronger when you saw him without his mask for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love/Hate

You've been with the Resistance for a long while now and made quite a name for yourself there.  
Basically being raised there, you consider it your home. Your parents had already been important, so that combined with you having grown up there made you one of General Organas right hand men.  
There were things only you and a selected few knew and that's also why Kylo Ren thinks you are worth kidnapping. 

It was supposed to be an easy in-and-out operation to retrieve something from a planet, that's why you went alone, insisting you didn't need anyone.  
However, it wasn't that easy.  
The enemy had their eye on you for some time now and somehow found out that you were going on a mission alone, so they were waiting for you there.  
You tried to fight, but were hopelessly outnumbered, but instead of killing you (as you thought they would, because one less Resistance member is one less problem) they captured you and dragged you onto their ship.

When you realized what they were doing, you tried to fight again, because they undoubtedly knew about your knowledge and that would result in torture, to get even the last ounce of information out of you.  
But you didn't get free, you only managed to get yourself knocked out by one of the stormtroopers. 

When you woke up, you were strapped to something like a table that kept you standing upright.  
It was quiet, except for the quiet humming of the ever-working engines all around you.  
Your head was aching and it hurt to only keep your eyes open and even though you knew that it was useless, testing to see how tight the cuffs around your wrists and ankles were, you still tried.  
Obviously they didn't budge. 

Something else happened though.  
You heard sliding doors behind you open, followed by heavy footsteps.  
“I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going wake up”, a strange voice then began to talk and a black figure moved into your view.  
You had never seen him before, but you heard enough of the horrible stories to realize and recognize immediately who had captured you.  
Kylo Ren. 

“I see you are familiar with me”, he spoke again and even though the contorted voice hardly let any emotion through, you knew that he was mocking you.  
He now simply stood in front of you and even though he was wearing a mask you could feel his intense gaze on you as if he was trying to get you to spill all your secrets by just staring.  
But you refused to say anything. He couldn't get anything out of you if you just refused to speak.  
He probably had countless ways of making you talk, but until you came up with something better, this was the best plan.  
“I do. But you don't even have to open your mouth. I can get whatever I want right out of your head”, Kylo Ren the spoke and let out something akin to a chuckle. 

In that moment you realized that he was already in your head.  
You didn't know what you were doing or how to do it, but you tried to push him out.  
The wound on your temple started pulsating with the strain.  
“Try as you might, but you can't resist the Force”, he explained, seemingly calm. 

“What do you want from me?”, you now asked, throwing your previous plan of not talking out of the window. You could at least try and get some information out of him, too.  
“I've heard a lot about you. The Generals confidante, you're called around base, that leads one to believe that you know some things. Information, to be precise. Information others don't know but could be very valuable to the First Order”, Kylo Ren told you.  
You had basically already rhymed it together yourself, why he took you aboard his ship, but somehow it was strange to hear it come from him. 

“I won't tell you anything”, you tried to sound confident, but a slight shaking in your voice gave you away.  
“We'll see about that”, he answered, raising a hand so it was level with your head.  
Suddenly the pain in your head swelled and it was nearly unbearable.  
“Don't fight it, it'll be less painful that way”, he said in a voice that was maybe supposed to be soothing? You couldn't tell through the mask and the pain.  
The pain continued until your vision started getting blurry and faded out into blackness. 

You woke up again in a cell.  
It was a tiny room, it only had a bed with a thin blanket and a pillow and hardly enough space to walk two steps up and down.  
In front of the door stood a trey with food on it.  
Usually you wouldn't eat anything those people gave you, but it just so happened that you were starving and you had no idea how long you were going to be stuck here.  
You got up and walked those two steps to the door, feeling incredibly dizzy, and kneed down in front of the food on the floor. 

You had no idea how much time had passed.  
After having eaten what they gave you, you inspected the door, but there too, there was no way out. You decided to just rest then.  
You needed your strength.  
So after sleeping what you thought must have been a few hours and waking up again you tried to the door once moor, but still nothing. 

You sat on the bed when you heard someone opening the door.  
Quickly you got up and stood next to the door, pressing your back against the wall, thinking you could maybe overwhelm the guard that way.  
A stormtrooper came in and without hesitation you attacked him.  
You landed a few solid punches and nearly made it out the door, but a second stormtrooper, who must have been right behind the first one grabbed you, shoved you face first against the wall and handcuffed your hands behind your back. 

After struggling a bit more, they led you down a hallway and past stormtroopers and through sliding doors and you recognized the room that you were in before.  
Panic started to overwhelm you and you tried your best to resist being strapped to that table again, but the two troopers were too strong and even if you had managed to get free, there were more stormtroopers down the hall that would catch you immediately.

And after a short time of waiting, you heard the doors open again and after a few seconds, Kylo Rens towering black figure stood in front of you again.  
Your heart started to beat faster. You tried to stay calm, but your body seemed to know better.  
“I will give you another chance to tell me all you know freely. There is no need for you to suffer”, he sounded calm.  
You wanted so desperately to tell him all you knew, to just get it over with and return a traitor, but your stubbornness refused.  
“Never”, you said through gritted teeth.

“As you wish”, he replied before raising that gloved hand again and the pain set in.  
You managed to stay conscious longer this time, trying harder to push him out but you knew it was of no use. 

Once again you woke up in your cell, food in the same spot.  
At least they had the decency to feed you.  
And while you kneed down once again to pick up your trey, a thought crossed your mind.  
What if I just don't eat. Starve myself to death. I could end it on my own terms.  
The offer seemed lucrative, but you didn't want to die. Not yet.  
Maybe if they decided to release you and you returned a traitor, you wished you had, or when the pain was too great, if he decides to interrogate you a few more times.  
But you couldn't do it now and maybe that made you a coward, but you just couldn't.

So somewhat against your own will, you swallowed the food and drank the water.  
It wasn't just that he got the information out of you, but you knew exactly what he had got out of your head. You saw what he saw and it made you feel even guiltier. 

You fell asleep again and again, stormtroopers came and took you into the room.  
You fought and screamed not to do this to you, but of course, they didn't listen.  
This time however, Kylo Ren was already in the room, waiting for you.  
Watching as you are being strapped to the table for the third time now. 

When the stormtroopers were out of the room, Kylo Ren and you just stared at each other.  
You were glad he wore the mask, it made it easier to see him as the monster he is.  
But as soon as you had that thought, you regretted it, because now he put his hands on his helmet and with a hissing sound, the front piece moved and he lifted it off his head. 

You were shocked to see what he looked like. He was beautiful in a way. His eyes held a deep sadness and his skin was very pale, hidden too long by this mask, but little freckles and moles dotted his face.  
He had black wavy hair that reached down to his shoulders, that looked so soft. Too soft for a man so cruel. And he was young. Younger than you thought he would be.  
Nothing of his looks fit the perception of the monster he presented himself as. He was a walking contradiction.  
But there was another thing. He seemed strangely familiar, as if you had seen him before, but you knew that wasn't possible. You would have remembered if you had seen Kylo Ren before. 

This time he didn't talk first, but immediately raised his hand and made you squirm with pain.  
“Please!”, you begged, “Please stop this!”, crying out in pain.  
And to your surprise, he actually stopped. 

You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down.  
“Please, you don't have to do this”, you told him.  
“Why? Are you going to tell me what you know?”, he answered and for the first time you heard his voice without the mask on.  
While it was as deep as you thought it would be, it was also soft and once more you thought that everything about him just didn't add up.  
“No, I can't do that”, you still maintained your stubbornness. You just had to find a way to get out of this.  
He had not yet accessed the most important things you knew, you had tried to protect those, push them further back into your mind, but you knew that only one or two sessions more, he would know all you knew. 

“I have to admit, I admire your strength. You don't posses the Force, yet you make it exceptionally hard for me to get all the information”, he now walked up and down in front of you.  
“The last one we had here, that pilot, he was weak. I had everything I needed in a matter of seconds”  
You knew he was talking about Poe. 

Kylo Ren now came close to you and in an almost gentle manner, stroked a strand of hair out of your face.  
You didn't want to look at him, you didn't want to see him as human, you much rather preferred the version of the monster, but you also couldn't deny that that little touch sent shivers down your spine.  
“You know enough already, there is no need to continue. You can just let me go. Make it easier for both of us”, you tried to reason, but you knew that he wouldn't fall for it. 

“You know I can't do that”, he almost sounded sorry as he traced the back of his hand down your cheek and again you felt that shiver.  
It was hard to admit, but it wasn't just fear that got that reaction out of you.  
“Please...”, you pleaded. You didn't exactly know what you were pleading for, but it was the only thing that would come into your mind.  
“I like it when you beg, but it won't help you now”, Kylo Ren simply said, before he began his procedure again.

This time, you didn't faint. You were awake for the whole process but when the guards took you down from that able again and led you back to your cell, you could hardly keep yourself upright. Your legs threatening to give in. 

That night (or day, you weren't exactly sure because you had no perception of time here) you didn't sleep, there was something that kept you awake. A thought.  
Kylo Ren had accessed a memory of yours that you thought you had forgotten and it wasn't the complete thing, but you knew there was more to it.  
So wrecking your brain you tried to think what that was all about. 

When you saw him again the next day, he had once more taken his mask off and suddenly you knew.  
You knew what was missing from that memory.  
And it was Kylo Ren himself, but before he became Kylo Ren.  
Ben Solo.  
You had only arrived there shortly before he left to become who he was now, so you had only seen him once or twice around base, but you were sure it was him.  
But maybe that meant he was not irredeemable after all.

“So you've figured it out”, he spoke and it was the first thing he said to you today.  
You only nodded.  
You couldn't believe that someone like him could turn and become so evil.  
“This is your last chance. After today I will have all of my mothers secrets anyway”, he offered once more, but you survived this long, you would survive this, too.  
You won't give up that information freely.

This time when he raised his hand, I actually touched your face with it, instead of keeping it a few inches away from you.  
And when he started, it was more painful than ever, you didn't even think that was possible.  
“You hid that information well, but I am going to get it”, he spoke but he sounded strained, this must take a toll on him as well.  
Slowly but surely you couldn't keep the walls up any longer and everything you knew basically spilled over to Kylo Ren.  
Tears started forming in your eyes, not only because of the unbearable pain, but also because you knew, that you now basically betrayed your family.  
It didn't matter to you that it was involuntary. The First Order now knows things because of you and you couldn't change that. 

Sitting in your cell once again you just stared at the wall.  
You didn't know if they were going to let you go now and you weren't sure that you wanted to leave, because it meant having to face the others at the Resistance.  
Telling them that the First Order know highly valuable information now because of you and all that might not have happened if you had only taken back up on your mission.  
This was all your fault. From beginning to end.  
There was a voice in your head telling you that that wasn't true, but you couldn't believe that.

Not much time had passed when the doors opened again and you were led out once more.  
But you were going a different way, so you knew that you weren't going back to the torture room.  
Maybe they were going to let you go, maybe they were going to execute you, you weren't sure. 

But when they pushed you into a room that looked like someones private quarters, you blanked completely.  
What were you doing here?  
You were alone so you looked around, trying to figure out who this room belonged to and why they brought you here.  
It had a big bed with black silk sheets, a few shelves, a small table with two chairs in one corner.  
However, the room had barely any personal possessions in it, so nothing to go on.  
Everything seemed expensive though, that was the only thing you knew. 

After some time, the doors opened and in stepped Kylo Ren.  
This time he wore his mask again, but he took it off as soon as you began to speak.  
“What am I doing here? You were supposed to release me.”  
“I never said I was going to release you”, he answered and there was almost a smile on his lips.  
You knew he was right, he never said he was going to let you go.  
“Then what do you want from me?”, you wanted to know.  
You tried to get as much distance between you as you could, so when he took a step forward, you went one backwards, but soon your back hit the wall and Kylo Ren came dangerously close to you.

“You are stronger than you know. You don't have the Force, but you could still be a valuable and powerful asset to the First Order”, he spoke and he was so close, you could almost feel the heat radiating from his body and his breath on your skin. 

You had to look up to look into his face.  
“I will never join you”, you answered him.  
“You've already betrayed everyone you know, it wouldn't make much of a difference anymore”, he replied.  
“You could do great things for us... for me”, he continued.  
He trailed one gloved hand down the side of your face, his thumb stroking over your bottom lip and then rested on your throat.  
“I could teach you”, he whispered and you felt those shivers again.  
Somehow he had this affect on you that you couldn't describe.  
You knew it was wrong, but you also wanted it so bad. 

It seemed he had read your mind again, because he now closed that last gap and pressed his lips to yours.  
They were soft and warm and gentle and you kissed him back.  
You don't know what came over you, you should despise this man, but you just couldn't.  
You wanted him.  
You wanted Kylo Ren.

The kiss that started out gentle soon became something more aggressive.  
Hands were everywhere and you both started to lose pieces of clothing, that were then thrown to the side carelessly.  
Kylo Ren now was shirtless now and you broke the kiss to marvel at his body.  
Someone like him shouldn't be so beautiful.  
You realized that you were only in your underwear now when you felt his hands touch your naked skin.  
His hands were surprisingly cold but felt wonderful chilling on your heated skin and it made you think again, how he was such a contradiction.  
How he was nothing what he seemed to be and that also made you think, that maybe he wasn't as evil and hopeless as everyone – including himself – thinks. 

He kissed you again, he lifted you up, and you were now stuck between him and the wall.  
Your legs wrapped almost instinctively around his hips and our arms snaked around his neck.  
“Say it”, he then muttered close to your lips between kisses and you didn't know what he meant.  
“Say you want me”, he made it clear.  
“I want you”, you whispered back, you didn't even hesitate and in a way, it scared you, but you had no time to really think about that, because Kylo Ren crashed his lips on yours again and engulfed you in an all consuming kiss. 

You felt the wetness pool between your legs and his hardness press against you and you couldn't hold back a moan.  
He gripped your hips tight and you knew you were going to have fingertip shaped bruises there the next day, but that turned you on even more.  
Kylo then released your lips, but went on to your throat, placing kisses, licks and bites there, that made you gasp in pleasant pain.  
“Please, I need you”, you managed to breathe out.  
“I told you I liked it when you beg... so beg”, he said before biting the soft flesh of your shoulder and pressing his pelvis closer against yours. 

Usually you would never beg, your stubbornness preventing you to do so, but this man had a power over you, you had not experienced before, so you did what he told you. You begged.  
“Please, Kylo Ren, I want you so bad, I need you to fuck me, need to feel you inside me, please.”

He suddenly wrapped his arms around your waist and carried you to the bed, while still holding you close and kissing you.  
He laid you down on the bed, him on top and then began to take the rest of your and his clothes off.  
Kylo Ren now stood at the end of the bed, looking down on your naked form while lazily stroking himself. You could only imagine that he was thinking about all the things he was going to do to you.  
You sat up, and moved to the edge of the bed so you sat in front of him.  
You looked up at him and licked your lips almost provocatively and he knew what you wanted to do, there was no mind reading necessary. 

He removed his hands and you substituted them with yours, grabbing the base of his shaft and then moving your mouth close and licking up a broad stripe with your tongue along the underside of it, before placing your mouth on the tip of it and moving up and down, cheeks hollowed, taking him in deep and occasionally letting your tongue swirl around the head.  
Kylo Rens hands moved to your hair, grabbing it tight and guiding you along his shaft. 

“Good girl”, he muttered breathlessly.  
Soft moans came from him and when you glanced up, you could see that his brows were knitted together in concentration.  
His grip in your hair tightened and then he pulled you off of him.  
Involuntarily you let out a soft whimper. You wanted to please him, wanted to hear more of those moans and encouragements.  
You had always known that a compliment bled from the master was worth a million given freely by anyone else, but this was the first time you truly experienced it.

“Lay down on the bed”, he ordered and you complied.  
Kylo moved between your thighs, your legs over his shoulders and his hands on your hips and waist to hold you down.  
He then began to lick on your clit, alternating between flat tongued strokes, and precise teasing with the tip of his tongue.  
It was now your turn to grip his hair and it was as soft as you thought it was the first time you saw it. 

He thoroughly worked you up and when you were ready, he took his hand from your hip and pushed a long finger into you, moving it in and out in an upward motion that hit that sweet spot inside you perfectly while still using his tongue on your clit.

It didn't take too long for you to reach your orgasm, the white heat overcoming you like waves, making you arch your back and scraping your nails against his scalp.  
He kept it going until you came down from your high and even a little longer, finding pleasure in your writhing because of the oversensitivity.

Kylo Ren then came up and was now face to face with you again.  
He kissed you, wet lips, and you could taste yourself on him.  
“I want to feel you inside me now”, you told him, you were more than ready for him.  
“You are perfect”, he answered, a gentle touch of his fingertips against your lips.  
He then lined himself up with your entrance and looked into your eyes and he pushed inside you, slow at first, but you wanted more, so you moved your hips to meet his, to take him in completely.

“Oh, you were so ready for me. Such a good girl”, he spoke and once he was fully settled inside you, he then began to move, but it didn't take him long to go faster.  
“Please, harder, I need it”, you begged once more and he did exactly what you told him to do.  
A smile formed on his lips before he leaned down to kiss you breathless again.

You moaned into his mouth and your nails scratching along his back, leaving red marks as he fucked you hard and exactly as you wanted it.  
His hair fell around his face and tickled your skin and he kept kissing you, while pounding into you relentlessly.  
Soon you felt your second orgasm coming on and you also noticed that Kylo's movement became more erratic and his muscles started to tense, which meant he was close, too.  
It only took a few more thrusts for you to come and when your walls tightened around him, he also came, your name falling from his lips between moans and praises of how perfect you were and you also screamed his name while digging your nails into his skin. 

For a few seconds you were both just staring at each other, panting heavily and then he kissed you again before pulling out of you and laying down next to you.  
His black hair was stuck his forehead and he brushed it out of his face with his fingers. 

You only looked at the ceiling, trying to gather your thoughts and trying to understand what you just did here.  
He certainly didn't force you, you wanted it, begged for it.  
You could feel him looking at you, so you turned to look at him.  
“Don't fight it”, he simply said and somehow you knew he was right.  
It happened and you enjoyed it and maybe it was a problem for another day. 

“Think about what I offered you”, he whispered before leaning over and pressing his lips to yours once more.  
“We could achieve so much together.”

**Author's Note:**

> Excuse any mistakes, I did not yet proofread it since it's very late and I am also not a native speaker, but I always appreciate comments! :)
> 
> You can also message me on tumblr!  
> hxbbit.tumblr.com


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